Wrestling With our Theology
Every follower of Jesus, but especially those called by God to lead our families, needs to spend time wrestling with a question that defines how we live our faith.
Men, that’s me and that’s you. We don’t have to wear a one-piece singlet or protective head gear, but we do need to figuratively get into the ring.
The word wrestle implies there’s a struggle, perhaps even a conflict. That means this question isn’t easily resolved while sipping coffee and watching the sunrise over the lake. Instead, it’s more like staying up through the night, experiencing a constant choke hold on your neck, and feeling like you’ve been twisted into a pretzel by the hands of God. You might even wake up with your hip out of its socket.
Here’s the question: is biblical theology shaping my response to life’s circumstances or are life’s circumstances shaping my theology?
It’s a question of grounding.
Am I grounded in biblical theology? Or is my theology grounded in the things of this world?
We must wrestle regularly with this question because we are imperfect creatures who don’t have all the answers. Our theology can and often should evolve as we mature in our faith. We shouldn’t add to or take away from Scripture (Deuteronomy 4:2, Revelation 22:18-19), but our understanding of Scripture should grow over time. We start with milk, as the Apostle Paul put it, before we can handle more substantive meat.
I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? (1 Corinthians 3:2-3, NIV)
If we wrestle poorly, we remain “mere humans” and the enemy puts our theology in a sleeper hold. If we wrestle well, we mature. We become less worldly. Less self-focused. More aware of all that we don’t know. More open to learning, yet more grounded in what we know is true. More holy. More like Jesus. Discerning whether our understanding of God – our theology – is developed by the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, or the world and our flesh isn’t always easy.
We slip. We slide. We veer off. And then we justify.
Case in point: Several years ago two church leaders I know went through a similar family challenge. One was an elder in their small but growing church and occasionally preached on Sundays. The other was a part-time pastor at their church, preached regularly, and shared in the highest directional leadership duties.
Troubles arose, for their families and their church, when a daughter for one, and a son for the other announced that they were gay. As many godly parents and grandparents know, this presents conflict, inward and at times outward, and there are no easy answers.
Had this happened to some other family, I suspect both men would have counseled the biblical concept of loving the sinner but not the sin. But when it happened in their families, both men adjusted their theology to fit their circumstances.
Because it now involved someone close to them, someone they loved dearly, they decided that it was theologically acceptable to condone homosexuality. In other words, they adjusted their theology based on desire — a desire to make their children feel valued and loved (not bad motives) rather than on the Word of God.
Predictably, their church split into two congregations. Both welcomed sinners of all stripes, but one redefined sin. One rebranded with rainbows. The other stuck with the cross.
This isn’t particularly uncommon. Entire denominations have taken the same stance as those two church leaders. And I remember a charismatic pastor who made a series of fantastic biblically grounded videos a few decades ago before adopting an all-roads-lead-to-heaven theology in the name of “inclusiveness.”
It’s an all-too short step from appeasement to apostasy.
Scripture reveals a God who is love and who is just. He doesn’t just love us. He doesn’t just dispense justice. He is the very essence of love and justice.
He loves us perfectly and with perfect justice. His Holiness can’t be sacrificed. And here’s the hard part, at least for me – He defines holiness, not me. No matter what I think or how I develop my theology, if it doesn’t align with God, then it’s just flat out wrong.
We all get it wrong from time to time, and getting it right isn’t easy. Thankfully, we don’t have to go about it by ourselves.
“You are a king, then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” (John 18:37, NIV)
When we listen to the Truth and wrestle with how the Spirit and the Word shape our theology, we come to some uncomfortable decisions about what we believe, how we should live, and how we should lead our families. Then we have to step into the messiness of life and love others unconditionally without sacrificing the Truth.
Let’s go back to the question for a minute: Is biblical theology shaping my response to life’s circumstances or are life’s circumstances shaping my theology?
Now consider these verses:
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with action and in truth. (1 John 3:18, NIV)
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. (Romans 12:9. NIV)
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (1 Corinthians 13:6, NIV)
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:14-15. NIV)
Now … How do these verses shape your theology? How will they shape your response to the circumstances you face?
If you’re like me, at times you might need godly friends to help you discern the answers. That’s called discipleship. But pick wisely.