In Search of Biblical Manhood
Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis is one of those books I wish I had read sooner and put to use more consistently, not only when raising my son back in the 1990s, but also when trying to live my own version of authentic biblical manhood.
There are many great definitions of biblical manhood. Lewis, in fact, has crafted more than one. In this book, however, he compares Adam and Jesus (the second Adam) and concludes that a real man…
Rejects passivity
Accepts responsibility
Leads courageously
Expects the greater reward
I’m partial to that definition because the four points are easy to remember and understand, even if they are hard to put into practice. When I have failed to display one or more of those defining traits, it never resulted in manly behaviors. But when I’ve been self-aware enough to use that definition as a filter before taking an action, I’ve always made better decisions.
So in an effort to keep the definition top of mind and reinforce my commitment to biblical manhood, I find it helpful to occasionally re-examine what the components mean and why they matter.
A real man rejects passivity
Return with me to the book of Genesis. Adam and Eve are living the good life in a beautiful garden. They have everything they need – the very presence of God and all that comes with it. Then, as you no doubt recall, Satan tempts Eve, she and Adam eat the forbidden fruit, and sin and death scar the human story.
Now take a closer look at the key moment in this scene.
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” (Genesis 3:6)
Did you catch that last part? The part about her husband?
While Satan messed with his wife, Adam stood behind her and did nothing. He listened quietly and went along to get along when he should have stepped up, spoke up, and cleaned up the mess before it ever got messy.
“He shrunk back in an infection that now infects all men,” Lewis says in a video about this part of his definition. “And that’s passivity.”
Passivity remains a huge issue for many men, me included. Jesus, meanwhile, steps up whenever opportunities come dressed as a threat. As Lewis put it, He “invades” the issue.
That started with His willingness to leave heaven and do something lowly, uncomfortable, and so painful it’s beyond our understanding just to save us from our sins. And when confronted during his ministry, Jesus never shrunk from the challenge. But remember this: The same Jesus who flipped over the tables of the money lenders at the temple also knew when to speak and when to stay silent when He was put on trial. A passive man fails to act because he’s afraid or insecure. A godly man responds to the Holy Spirit and honors God, sometimes with words and sometimes with silence.
A real man accepts responsibility
Again, revisit the Genesis account of the fall and you’ll find God in the garden asking Adam how he knew he was naked, not because God didn’t know the answer but because He wanted Adam to fess up. But what does Adam say?
“The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” (Genesis 3:12)
Yep, he shirks his responsibility and blames his wife.
Before we get holier-than-thou on Adam, think about how often we shift blame or try to justify our actions to avoid taking responsibility. We explain why we had to do it. Or we blame a co-worker, a competitor, the government, a family member – anyone but the man in the mirror.
That’s not biblical manhood.
Lewis believes men have responsibility in at least three core areas:
A will to obey.
A woman to love.
A work to do.
Adam had a responsibility to obey God’s will, and he didn’t do it. Adam had a responsibility to take care of the woman he loved, Eve, and he failed her. And Adam had a responsibility to do the work he was given (to rule and subdue the earth), and he avoided it.
Jesus, meanwhile, consistently surrendered His will to the will of the Father, He gave His life for the woman He loved (His bride, the Church), and He went to the cross so He could say of the work He was given, “It is finished.” (John 19:30)
A real man leads courageously
This is the counter-weight to rejecting passivity.
It is where we are called to do something. Not just anything but something that takes heart and commitment and a willingness to put ourselves at risk for those we love. As the Cadet Prayer puts it, to “choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.” Lewis said this often boils down to a battle between our emotional desires and our commitment to honoring God’s truth.
“Leadership demands that men have the courage to master their passions and bridle themselves with the truth,” he wrote in the book. He went on to add, “the courage to lead with truth rather than surrender to feelings always separates the men from the boys.”
Adam, perhaps out of fear or maybe out of a desire for the things Satan was offering, missed an opportunity to strap on the belt of truth and smack the snake with the sword of the Spirit.
Jesus, on the other hand, stood firm during the temptation in the wilderness. He leaned into the Word of God and His will was resolute. And that was just one of many examples of how He lead with courage.
The call to lead with courage is repeated often to leaders in scripture, typically with the words, “be strong and courageous.” My favorite example is Joshua 1:9 because it states it as a command, not just good advice. Plus, it explains where we get our strength and courage – “for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
When God is with us, we can lead courageously in any battle we face.
For if God is with us, who can stand against us? (Romans 8:31)
A real man expects the greater reward
We started in Genesis, so let’s end in Revelation with these words from King Jesus:
“Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done.” (Revelation 22:12)
Sin often looks good, smells good, tastes good, and feels good, but all the “good” parts are temporary at best while the bad parts can be deadly. Like a fish that hungrily swallows the bait on a hook, we munch on sin and end up as fish sticks in an oven.
Avoiding the long-term consequences of sin is reason enough to embrace biblical manhood, but there’s an even better motivation – the eternal rewards that come from God. Adam lost sight of this. Jesus didn’t.
“The first Adam actually believed that there was a greater reward through the serpent than there was through what God had given him in the garden” Lewis said. “And he opted out for that and found in the end that it just brought him death. Whereas the second Adam came to earth and was offered everything by that same serpent and yet rejected it because He believed there was a greater reward.”
What is that reward?
In the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25), Jesus describes it as sharing the Master’s happiness or joy. And the writer of Hebrews tells us that joy is so incredible that Jesus endured the cross and scored its shame. (Hebrews 12:1-3)
This joy is incomprehensible for us as humans, and when I spend time thinking about it – really, deeply thinking about what it will be like to rest in joy with Jesus – my spirit gets so overwhelmed that I can hardly breath.
So, men, here’s our challenge – to resist the urge to give into passivity; to own our responsibility to obey God’s will; to protect the woman we love and live out our calling; to lead with truth rather than emotions; and to never forget the greater reward of resting in the joy of our master!